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Last Sunday while having lunch at a restaurant, I overheard a conversation at the table next to me. Though it is not a good thing to listen to others talk, but I couldn’t stop overhearing it as the two women were complaining about their mother-in-law. This is an everyday topic in most of the houses when your husband’s mother criticizes you and you have to grin and bear it. She can be intrusive and bossy at times and you may also lose control over your temper and get entangled in a hot discussion with her.
Most of the time your mother-in-law may not mean any harm; she just feels a little anxious about the fact that you are in charge of her son, grandchildren and now that you have a say in your household. You are simply a threat to her relationship with her son making her feel unsteady and insecure. Research study says that about 60% of all marriages suffer from tension that is caused due to mother-in-law. The nagging, interference is often the cause of worry. But if you are a smart daughter-in-law you can handle the situation tactfully with the useful tips shared below.
Maintain a positive attitude: Just like you are new in the family and trying to adjust with others, similarly your mother-in-law is also trying to adjust herself in the new role. Always try to convey a positive attitude towards her and help her by remaining a bit flexible.
Respect: Treat her as a part of your life with respect. She has been through various stages of life and is more experienced than you. You may have differences in opinions but talk to her with respect so that she doesn’t feel hurt. Try to celebrate the differences instead of making it a means to quarrel.
Compromise: This is the final keyword. Do not always cling to your own decision when a conflict arises. Always remember that yours is only one perspective, others may have different opinions too. Instead of becoming upset, learn to appreciate her good points. A little compromise from your side will make her much gentler and feel that you do value her.
Ask for advice: Your mother-in-law has aged and has experience of various situations. You may at times disagree with her advice and not follow her suggestions. But always be open to ideas and show her respect by taking any advice in situations where you can be a bit flexible. This can surely help to maintain a loving relationship between both of you.
Expectations: Mostly daughter-in-laws are welcomed into the family. But sometimes your husband’s mother may not be so charming to you. As you are new to the family, she will take some time to adjust with you. So don’t be disheartened if this happens, instead try to understand what her expectations are from you. She may have hopes and longings from the newly expanded family. Try to give her some time to understand you and cooperate with her instead of feeling sad.
Talk to her: Your mother-in-law may expect lots of attention from you. So sit and chat with her whenever she is around and let her help you with the household chores if she wants to do it. This will definitely make your bond stronger. Thank her for all her support and love for the family and see how she starts to love you.
Since you two people are two different personalities, you may have different opinions and temperament styles. Some people are quick to make adjustments while others may be slow. The only source to maintain a healthy relationship with your mother-in-law is to understand her, respect her and show that you care for her.