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There is no denying the fact that, in this day and age, kids can be seen acting in disrespectful and rude ways towards their parents. From banging doors, rolling their eyes, to shouting in front of others and accusing you of things you haven’t done – kids can be discourteous and act like brats at some point.
When you see your children turning snobby, you might get worried and frustrated, wondering about the ways to handle them. Mother’s Zone helps you figure out when your child has crossed the boundary and how to deal with disrespectful child behaviour in a positive manner.
Consider these tips:
1. Find the underlying issue
While this may help you understand why your kid is turning into a disrespectful soul, it is often the hardest part of it all! It can just be the age your kid is in, or some personal problem that they may be facing at school or college. As a matter of fact, your tiny toddler can also be disrespectful. And even when they might look ‘cute’ to you while throwing tantrums, it is extremely important for you to understand that dealing with a very young child who is intolerable is highly difficult, simply because of their lack of understanding of what is right or wrong.
2. Never hit back, as a reaction to violence
This might be a problem if you have a young child. You have to understand that self defense is one thing, but you should not resort to hitting, slapping or punching your child as a reaction to what they did. Just stay calm and tell your kid to never hit you again. Be firm and resolute when you say this to your kid and look into their eyes confidently.
3. Communication is the key
After finding the issue, it is important for you to bring things right on track. If your kid is a teenager who is facing problems, then try and communicate with them as best as you can. Tell them that every person has to go through this phase of life, and even if it seems to be the most difficult phase to them, it is not. The life of a teenager is filled with joys that one can only reminisce at a later age. Help them focus on the positive things and forget about the negative things that they are concentrating on.
While communicating with your kid, if you feel you are making it hard for your own self and can lose your temper any time, then it is better to move out of the conversation and find some time for yourself alone. Try to be calm and do not forget that you love your kid and want things to be back to normal. Think about the time your kid was born and remember all the love and care you have for them. It will not only help you be at peace, but will also help you have the strength to turn things the right way – just to see your child smile like the way they did when they were little!
4. Show them you expect obedience
In order to help your child be courteous, expect them to obey all your rules and listen to you. Sit with them every now and then and tell them on what all circumstances they did not stand up to your expectations of discipline and respect. Tell them that you expect them to listen and follow the rules that you have set for their betterment. You can’t just demand respect, but do things that invite respect. Be helpful, supporting and loving, and your child will respect you automatically.
5. Be candid and open-minded
Try to be friends with your kids, but do not forget that you are not one! They can’t talk to you or shout at you the way they do with their friends. While being open minded and as candid as you can is the need of the hour, what equally important is to draw a thin line between being casual and being disrespectful. If your children come up with colloquial phrases like “Yeah, whatever”, “I am least bothered about you!”, and so on, then do not hesitate to tell them that they are being disrespectful. Come off strong, but don’t argue with them. Simply state what is unacceptable for you.
6. Spot manipulation and avoid falling for it
Your kids can manipulate you every now and then. Whenever you feel you are being manipulated, confront your child and warn them they can’t pick at you. Make everything clear with your kid and inform them that manipulation of any kind will not be tolerated.
7. Be a role model
Set an example and live by your own principle of acting respectfully towards your children, spouse, neighbors, colleagues and elders. No matter how the other person is behaving, don’t forget to act respectfully. We understand that it is extremely difficult to continue to act respectfully towards your child even when they are insulting you. But when you do not react in the same way, you set a good example. Act with integrity and confidence without letting your child free to go. If you’re going to snap at your kids or others for that matter, you are only going to get disrespect in return. But when you are righteous in the way you behave and never disrespect anybody, you are being a role model of how your child should actually be. “Practice what you preach” is the adage you must abide by!